101 Ways to Get a Queen to Chill
by HecateA
Summary: Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind every great woman, there is someone who is both an excellent masseuse, a good friend, a voice of reason, and a therapist all at once. Oneshot. Femslash February


**In a fandom where StollxStoll is a legitimate pairing, Hylla and Kinzie should get a thousand times more stories and fanart, pass it on.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything more than I did yesterday!**

* * *

 **Day: 8**

 **Situation: Person A is hungover**

 **Fluff: Massage**

 **Angst: Hospital**

* * *

 **101 Ways to Get a Queen to Chill**

* * *

 **1\. A good night's rest**

"Hylla, if you are tired it's because you work too hard," Kinzie said, laying in bed, propped up on her elbows. "I can do anything and everything you want, but if you're not sleeping, you will continue to be tired."

"Okay, darling," Hylla said.

"Okay darling should be followed by you coming into bed," Kinzie said. "You know, in a perfect world. Or maybe a world in which you actually took care of yourself. Or one in which you listened to me..."

"Sorry," Hylla said. "Lucy just paged me. Phone conference with Athens in ten minutes, it looks like some of our European branches are particularily affected by Crisis A.5 right now... Shit, I thought Athens would be okay if anything..."

"I left the coffeemaker on," Kinzie sighed.

"Wow," Hylla said. "It's like you knew even before the night assistant did!"

She came to bed, just to kiss Kinzie, before wandering into the kitchen for coffee and making her way to the office on the other side of the Royal Chambers.

Kinzie slumped back down on the pillows and took a deep breath as she heard the phones switch on and off, with various delegates introducing themselves before Hylla piped in: "Queen Hylla, attending. If everyone could swear in, order of introduction, I know it's late for many of us…"

And so Kinzie gave up on sleep and curled up to hog all the blankets until Hylla came back, trying her best to listen in, as she went down her list of other things to do to get Hylla to take a break, unwind, breathe, and otherwise relax...

(Hint: it was a long, _long_ list.)

 **2\. A home cooked meal**

"Kinzie, you're busy too," Hylla said. "You didn't have to…"

"I know that I didn't have to," Kinzie said. "But unless I make it, you won't feel compelled to eat healthy good. This is yogurt-marinated chicken with mushrooms and sweet potatoes with a healthy, healthy salad. It's nourishing. Sit down and shovel it into your mouth."

 **3\. Calling your family**

"More paperwork?" Kinzie asked, pulling her kimono around her.

"It's not paperwork," Hylla said with a smile. Kinzie reached out for a page, and read the first line only. Dear Reyna.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kinzie said putting it back down.

"It's okay," Hylla said. "As you can see, I never get very far."

"You write to your sister to calm down," Kinzie said. "I'm not sure I understand, shouldn't that be more stressful?"

"Maybe," Hylla said, "but it makes me feel better about my to-do list. I mean, if I try to tackle the hardest, I can do anything else. I try to write to her about twice a week."

"What's the farthest you've ever gotten?" Kinzie asked, putting a hand on Hylla's shoulder.

"The post office," Hylla said. "Then I threw up and drafted our partnership agreement with Apple."

 **4\. Watching a nature documentary**

"Isn't the sound of waterfalls soothing?" Kinzie asked, snuggling up to Hylla.

"Waterfalls aren't soothing, rain is soothing. That's like comparing canon balls to a woodpecker. They're impressive and grandiose and powerful and constant."

"They are," Kinzie agreed.

"I should be being impressive and powerful too," Hylla said.

"No. You are dating a nymph, you will watch this."

"You are an aurae, not a naiad," Hylla said.

"They're still family," Kinzie said. "Now shut up and relax."

 **5\. Taking a walk in the park**

 **6\. Lighting some candles**

 **7\. Drinking fruity smoothies**

"What did you say was in this?" Hylla said looking at the contents of her thermos.

"Bananas, ginger, avocado, blueberries, honey, skim yogurt and kale," Kinzie said. "And a surprise!"

"Kale is not a fruit," Hylla said.

 **8\. Cleaning her desk**

 **9\. Squeezing a stress ball**

 **10\. Doing yoga**

 **11\. Taking a bubble bath**

Hylla walked into the chambers and immediately swung her cape off her shoulders and hung Othrera's belt on a hook near the door. She froze.

"Kinzie you home?" Hylla asked.

"Yes," Kinzie said. "Come here!"

Hylla unzipped her leather jacket and unbuttoned the collar of her blouse before wandering to the bathroom, where Kinzie sat on the edge of the tub.

"I'm glad you're home," Kinzie said. "I timed it so that the water would still be warm."

"What?" Hylla said.

"You are tired," Kinzie said. "So I stole all the cosmetic samples I could find around the building and drew you a bubble bath, essential oils and everything."

"Kinzie, that's sweet…"

"No exceptions. I see that you've already started to undress for it, now keep going and get in before it gets cold."

 **12\. Spending time with animals**

"Don't freak out," Kinzie said.

"Why would I?" Hylla asked. "Is something wrong?"

"You're going to think I've done something rash…" Kinzie said.

"Okay," Hylla said.

"But I haven't," Kinzie said. "You know? I've been thinking about doing this for a long, long time. The University of New York at Buffalo conducted a 2002 study that showed that having a pet near them decreased anxiety in adults while they performed stressful tasks. Pets lower blood pressure and cholesterol, eases pain, improves mood, prevents strokes and improves the immune system."

"Why are you talking to me about pets?" Hylla said.

"There was a really, really cute dog in transit today," Kinzie said.

"Kinzie…"

"I checked the records and the poor little dog got lost," Kinzie said.

"We do not lose merchandise. Especially not live cargo."

"Oh, we did," Kinzie said. "We really, really, really did. And so this dog was all alone and now…"

"It's here, isn't it?" Hylla said.

"She's sitting on our bed and she is really cute Hylla, I bought this little purple collar with the employee discount and she is so happy right now, come see her please I think we should call her Maisie!" Kinzie blurted.

 **13\. Stargazing**

 **14\. Jumping on a bed**

"This is not royal!" Kinzie said.

"But it helps!" Hylla said, laughing and smacking Kinzie with a pillow.

"Ah!" Kinzie said, insulted. "You think you're all that because you're the daughter of a war goddess?" She jumped onto the bed, hopped once for momentum, and then smacked Hylla with a pillow.

 **15\. Wearing nice clothes and looking really good**

"Is this to make _me_ feel good or for your own sake?" Hylla said, looking at herself in the mirror.

"I like to think that we're both enjoying this," Kinzie said. "Twirl again? I can't decide which angle I like better."

 **16\. Acupuncture**

"Kinzie, do you think we may be crossing a line here?"

"Oh, yes, Mei is excellent," Kinzie promised. "Apparently you don't feel the needles go in."

"Can we try yoga again?" Hylla said. "Yoga had no needles. It just had you in those awesome pants.

 **17\. Getting a manicure**

 **18\. Cuddling**

 **19\. Playing board and card games**

 **20\. Smiling**

"Your Majesty?" Kinzie said as they filed out of the meeting.

"I know we're running late, that I addressed Major Tabitha by the wrong title, and that it's only 9:30 and I've had too much coffee," Hylla said. "Did I guess right?"

"No," Kinzie said. "But you should try smiling. It releases toxins and stuff, you know?"

 **21\. Blasting some music**

 **22\. Feeding birds**

 **23\. Turning off phone and email notifications**

 **24\. Listening to and learning other languages**

After leaving Puerto Rico, Hylla had been plunged into an essentially anglophone world with Circe's clientele and staff. The English language pissed Hylla off. Once upon a time she hadn't spoken it well and she'd gotten a lot of trouble for it, trouble that was unwarranted because English was a bastard, mutt of a language with no rhyme or reason that you could figure out on your own unless someone mapped it out for you. Hylla missed Spanish. And even to this day, she swore in Spanish and counted in Spanish and talked to herself in Spanish and every word that came out of her mouth was a translation, because Hylla thought in Spanish.

Laying in bed and listening to Kinzie speak the click and sparkling _aurae_ language on the phone, or listening in on gaggles of nymphs in the cafeteria, was awesome. And there was nothing that Hylla liked more than Kinzie putting Hylla's fingers to her lips and throat and cheeks to help her understand how to sound out Kinzie's language.

 **25\. Doing breathing exercises**

 **26\. Aromatherapy**

 **27\. Hot cups of tea**

 **28\. Boxing at the gym**

 **29\. Adult colouring books**

"I feel five years old," Hylla complained.

"So get over it, open that new pack of crayons and start feeling better."

 **30\. Making lists**

 **31\. Massages**

"Go lie in bed," Kinzie said, wrapping her arms around Hylla's shoulder from behind.

"I'm busy," Hylla said, not even looking up from her paperwork.

"You're tense," Kinzie said. "I was on the other side of the room and I could tell. Go lie in bed."

"Me being tense does not make the paperwork dissapear," Hylla said.

"That would just be too good," Kinzie said. "But you being stressful and anxious and tense won't make the paperwork get done faster or better."

"Kinzie..."

"Last chance, Hylla," Kinzie said.

"I'm just going to keep going with my paper- oh, gods..." Hylla said, melting as soon as Kinzie put her magical fingers on Hylla's shoulders.

"This would be even better if you'd gone to bed," Kinzie said, kissing Hylla's ear.

 **32\. Eating avocadoes**

"It lowers blood pressure, I swear," Kinzie said.

"I don't even need a reasonable explanation for you feeding me guacamole," Hylla said. "I feel better already. Pass the chips? Thanks darling."

 **33\. Karaoke**

 **34\. Chewing gum and making bubbles**

 **35\. Getting a plant**

 **36\. Green tea**

 **37\. Sunlight**

 **38\. Screaming into pillows**

"Those meetings were really long and painful today," Kinzie said, straightening up from her spot on the couch when she heard the door opened. "I was lucky to get off before midnight."

"It's 4:00 AM right now isn't it?" Hylla asked walking towards the couch.

"4:26," Kinzie said in her matter-of-fact, automatic assistant voice. Hylla nodded. Kinzie raised a pillow. Hylla held it to her face and screamed in it.

 **39\. Showering**

 **40\. Hammocks**

 **41\. Cloud watching**

 **42\. Popping balloons**

"Hylla, stop it," Kinzie said. "Your security detail is going to have a collective aneurysm, do you know how much like a _bomb_ that sounds?"

 **43\. Making music**

 **44\. Breakfast in bed**

"Wake up sunshine," Kinzie said softly. "Darling? Darling, wake up..."

"Mmm," Hylla said. "You are so much better than an alarm clock to wake up to."

"I try," Kinzie said, kissing Hylla good morning. "Actually, I didn't try- we kind of beat the alarm clock."

"We beat the alarm clock?" Hylla said. "You do know that that means less sleep, right?"

"Right," Kinzie said. "But I didn't know how else I could give you breakfast in bed."

"Breakfast in bed," Hylla said, her interest suddenly peaking.

"Eggs, bacon, hasbrowns, fresh fruit and bakery bagels in bed, to be precise," Kinzie said. "And your coffee. Medium caffé latte with a shot of espresso, to 'start the day with extra poisoned poison before proceeding to regular poison'. I also got your black coffee for later."

"You never forgot the very first coffee order I gave you," Hylla said.

"No, and I didn't forget that you like your eggs sunny-side up either, so eat up," Kinzie said.

"Okay," Hylla smiled. "That was worth losing sleep."

 **45\. Netflix marathons while doing paperwork**

"I'm sorry," Hylla said. "Since when is Callie pregnant?"

"Season 7," Kinzie said. "Hush, Bailey's speaking, she's my favourite."

"Wait, she's with Arizona right now," Hylla said. "So who in the world is the father?"

"You said you could watch _and_ do paperwork without losing track of who was who," Kinzie complained. "I don't want to have to pause it every ten seconds!"

"That's before I realised that you picked the most melodramatic and addicting show on Netflix, who's the father?" Hylla asked.

 **46\. Hair braiding**

"This is so relaxing," Hylla said.

"Has nobody ever braided your hair?" Kinzie asked.

"I always did my sister's hair first, then ran out of time and put mine up in a ponytail," Hylla said. "Gods, this is great..."

 **47\. Donuts**

 **48\. Planning trips that will probably never be taken**

 **49\. Shredding things**

"Goodbye Search Warrant for Treacherous Queen's Private Chambers," Hylla said, putting a piece of paper through the machine. "Farewell, Building Permit Copy Made Three Times Because Pure Incompetence Prevented My Builders From Losing It! And to you too Marriage License of a Couple That Lasted Three Weeks!"

"This is disturbing," Kinzie said. "Stop talking to the papers."

"Can you give me another massage? I _really_ like massages!"

 **50\. Wearing big sweaters**

"Is that mine?" Kinzie said.

"Of course," Hylla said. "Problem?"

"No, you're pulling it off," Kinzie said with a smile.

 **51\. Sex**

Yeah, the list usually ended there.


End file.
